Cheese people are grate people. They also seem to have an unusually high tolerance for terrible puns.
Spend enough time around cheesemakers, cheesemongers, cheese shops, markets, events or social media and sooner or later you’ll come across one. A chalkboard promising something grate. A Valentine’s post asking you to Brie Mine. A Christmas message wishing you a Gouda one.
Some cheese puns are clever. Some are painful. Some are so bad they somehow become good again.
We love them all.
So we thought we’d start collecting them.
This is our growing list of cheese puns, cheesy phrases and bits of wordplay for anyone who loves cheese, sells cheese, makes cheese or simply enjoys making other people groan.
Use them for inspiration, steal them for your chalkboard, turn them into a social post, adapt them for a promotion or simply enjoy how unnecessarily far it is possible to take a cheese joke.
And most importantly, add your own.
Gouda = good
Gouda gives us an unfair number of possibilities.
- As Gouda as it gets
- Looking Gouda
- Feeling Gouda
- Gouda luck
- Gouda for you
- All in Gouda time
- Do Gouda
- A force for Gouda
- The Gouda stuff
- For the Gouda everyone
- Gouda things come to those who wait
- It’s all Gouda
- Looking Gouda enough to eat
- Gouda times ahead
Feta = better
Possibly one of our favourites, because you can improve almost anything by making it Feta.
- Feta together
- It doesn’t get Feta than this
- We can do Feta
- Build something Feta
- You deserve Feta
- Feta late than never
- Things are getting Feta
- A Feta idea
- Make it Feta
- We know you can do Feta
- There’s a Feta Whey
That last one may be difficult to improve on.
Whey = way
A genuine gift to cheese-based wordplay.
- No Whey!
- This is the Whey
- Whey to go
- Find a Whey
- Make Whey
- The Whey forward
- There’s always a Whey
- Our Whey of doing things
- The only Whey is up
- No Whey around it
- Whey ahead of you
- A better Whey to do it
- Show us the Whey
Combine it with Feta and things start getting dangerous.
There’s a Feta Whey.
Brie = be
Brie is another cheese that works surprisingly hard for the cause.
- Brie yourself
- Brie happy
- Brie curious
- Brie kind
- Brie involved
- Brie part of it
- Brie the change
- Brie mine
- Brie there or Brie square
- Brie-lieve in yourself
- Brie-lieve it or not
- Brie-lliant
- Brie-cause we can
- Brie-yond expectations
Some of those may require a generous pronunciation, but we’re not going to let that stop us.
Grate = great
Technically not a cheese, but surely this one qualifies.
- Have a Grate day
- Grate minds think alike
- You’re Grate
- That’s Grate
- Do Grate things
- Make it Grate
- Something Grate is happening
- A Grate idea
- Grate people
- Grater together
- The Grate British cheeseboard
- Have a Grate Christmas
- Have a Grate weekend
- Keep up the Grate work
And, of course:
Cheese people are Grate people.
Caerphilly = carefully
One for those who appreciate putting a little more effort into their puns.
- Choose Caerphilly
- Think Caerphilly
- Tread Caerphilly
- Caerphilly considered
- Caerphilly crafted
- Handle Caerphilly
- Plan Caerphilly
- Slice Caerphilly
We strongly recommend pronouncing these aloud until somebody tells you to stop.
Curd = could
A small change, but a useful one.
- Curd you believe it?
- Curd we do Feta?
- Curd this be love?
- Curd it get any better?
- Curd you pass the cheese?
- Curd you Brie any happier?
- Curd this possibly get any cheesier?
Yes. Yes it curd.
Rind = mind
Perfect for slightly questionable life advice.
- Never Rind
- Rind your own business
- Rind over matter
- Keep an open Rind
- Speak your Rind
- Peace of Rind
- Change your Rind
- Rind the gap
- Bear it in Rind
- Great Rinds think alike
Slice = nice
Simple, effective and particularly handy if you actually sell cheese by the slice.
- Slice to meet you
- Have a Slice day
- Slice one
- Very Slice
- That’s Slice
- Looking Slice
- A Slice little treat
- Something Slice for the weekend
Dairy = very
This one opens up a whole new branch of questionable wordplay.
- Dairy good
- Dairy nice
- Dairy much appreciated
- Thank you Dairy much
- Dairy impressive
- Dairy exciting
- Dairy pleased to meet you
- Dairy happy
- Dairy tasty
Udderly
We know, we’re drifting away from cheese and into wider dairy territory.
We’re comfortable with that.
- Udderly brilliant
- Udderly delicious
- Udderly ridiculous
- Udderly irresistible
- Udderly wonderful
- Udderly cheesed off
Legendairy
Barely needs explaining.
- Absolutely Legendairy
- A Legendairy cheesemaker
- A Legendairy cheeseboard
- Legendairy people
- A Legendairy night
- Make it Legendairy
Provolone = alone
A little niche, but a good one.
- You’re never Provolone
- Leave me Provolone
- Home Provolone
- Better together than Provolone
Camembert = can’t remember
Less flexible, but very satisfying when you can make it work.
- I Camembert
- I Camembert where I put it
- I Camembert what happened last night
- I Camembert the last time I had cheese this good
Halloumi = hello me / allow me
These become progressively more questionable, which is part of the appeal.
- Halloumi there
- Halloumi to introduce myself
- Halloumi to explain
- Halloumi to help you with that
Fondue = fond of you
Romance has rarely been this dairy-heavy.
- I’m Fondue you
- Very Fondue you
- We’re rather Fondue this
- Fondue memories
- Always Fondue cheese
An obvious contender for Valentine’s Day.
Edam = damn
Use with appropriate restraint. Or don’t.
- It’s Edam good
- That’s Edam tasty
- I don’t give Edam
- Edam fine cheese
- You look Edam good
Morbier = more beer
A cheese pun that comes with its own drinks pairing.
- Morbier, please
- A little Morbier
- Cheese first, Morbier later
- We could always have Morbier
Cheese itself is doing plenty of work
You don’t even need a particular cheese.
- Cheese the day
- Cheese wisely
- Cheese your own adventure
- Cheese me
- Cheese what happens next
- Cheese Louise
- Sweet cheeses
- Say cheese
- For the love of cheese
- The big cheese
- Easy cheesy
- Cheesy does it
And then there are the completely unnecessary ones
These are the puns nobody asked for, but somebody was always going to make.
- Spread the Curd
- A few Curds of wisdom
- Word on the Curd
- Crumb on!
- Crumb and get it
- Rind your manners
- Grate things come in small packages
- Brie happy, don’t worry
- Feta safe than sorry
- Gouda knows
- Brie prepared
- Whey too much cheese
- It ain’t easy being cheesy
- Age is just a number, unless you’re cheese
- Keep calm and eat cheese
Cheese puns can actually be useful
There is a slightly more serious reason for putting this list together.
Cheese businesses use wordplay all the time. It appears in shop windows, social posts, email subject lines, packaging, event names, tasting promotions, Christmas campaigns, Valentine’s offers and product descriptions.
A pun won’t make a bad campaign good, but it can be a useful starting point. You might take Brie Mine and turn it into a Valentine’s cheeseboard promotion. Or, you might use: Have a Grate Christmas on a shop sign or Christmas social post. Or There’s a Feta Whey might become the starting point for a post about doing something differently. Sometimes the useful bit is simply having an idea you can play with.
Think you can do Feta?
This list is nowhere near finished, and we hope it never will be. If you’ve got a favourite cheese pun, add it in the comments. It can be clever, terrible, shamelessly cheesy or something you’ve been using in your shop for years. We want the classics, the obscure ones and the ones you’ve just made up.
And because we can go one Feta, we’ll regularly choose some of our favourites and turn them into a meme or short video for you to use. So, Give us your best cheese pun.
We’ll keep adding the best ones to the list, share our favourites and see just how far the cheese community can take this. After all, cheese people are grate people.
